Sex educator’s positive message

Young mum Aimee Holme is angry at media criticism of teenage parents, saying that having children at a young age does not “ruin your life”.

The 21 year-old mother of three was awarded National Mum of the Year 2009 by Netmums.com for her voluntary work teaching sex education to teenagers.

“There is so much stereotyping of teen mums and Aimee blasts through all that with her wonderful, positive activism,” said Netmums founder Siobhan Freegard.

“I’m not only a mum and a volunteer, but I’m a full-time college student too,” Aimee said. “It is my aim in life to prove the stereotypes of young parents wrong.”

Aimee’s story

At 17, Aimee gave birth to twins, Lauren and Megan, having consciously made the decision that she wanted a child. She had left school at 16 with eight good GCSEs and went to college to study childcare. It was here that Aimee decided she wanted a baby.

“I had little knowledge of what having a child entailed – the financial, emotional and moral side of it,” she said. “I had the basics of how to look after a child after studying childcare for GCSE, but it wasn’t enough information.”

The twins she was carrying were diagnosed with Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) at 24 weeks, a disease that causes an imbalance in the flow of blood from one twin to another while in the womb.

Due to their condition, Aimee’s twins were on the verge of heart failure and had to be delivered at just 28 weeks. At birth, they were given a 20% chance of survival and the stress caused Aimee to suffer from post-natal depression.

Sex education

When the twins were nine months old, Aimee became pregnant with Sophie, her youngest daughter.
It was during this time that Aimee joined a young parents group. It was here that the link between sex education and becoming a teenage mother made Aimee realise she wanted to make a difference:

“The teen pregnancy rate is high because of the type of sex education received,” she said.

“At the moment I feel there is too much emphasis on how to have sex and linking contraception to preventing STIs [sexually transmitted infections] as opposed to the true meaning of contraception – preventing pregnancy.”

In order to get young people to engage with sex education, the group created activities to make it more memorable.

One is a condom race – where teenagers are given different instruments such as beer goggles, a blindfold and lots of rings and instructed to correctly put a condom on a plastic penis. The aim of the game is to demonstrate the importance of awareness when using contraception and how easily they can be worn incorrectly or damaged by excessive jewellery.

Another game involves a ‘pass the parcel’, but the parcel is a blown up condom. When the music stops, the teenager must rub the condom with baby oil until the music starts again. This will continue until the baby oil causes the condom to pop and demonstrates why baby oil is not a suitable lubricant.

Media stereotypes

Aimee started holding workshops, teaching trainee professional health visitors, midwives, doctors and youth and social workers how to teach sex education more effectively.

The success of these classes lead her to being name a spokesperson for Fable and Fact, a project run by UK Youth which challenges the stereotype of young parents.

“The media stereotypes young mums as lazy, uneducated, irresponsible, stupid little tarts who have children to get houses and benefits,” Aimee said.

She wants the media to report on young parents who achieve goals, rather than focusing on controversial cases such as baby-faced 13-year-old father Alfie Patten.

“To the stereotypes I say don’t judge a book by its cover, don’t tar us all with the same brush and young parents can be good parents too.”

Her own ambitions include graduating from university in 2010 and continuing her crusade for better sex education and a greater emphasis on life skills in school.

Aimee lives with her boyfriend, Rob Parry, 22, an electrician who has been with Aimee for over three years.
He is not the biological father of Aimee’s children but was at the birth of her youngest daughter and has taken on the role after their real father lost contact.

“Our children are definitely well cared for, all it takes is a glance to see it.”

Story by Helen Varley

See also:

Teen pregnancies on the rise

External links:
Netmums
UK Youth Fable and Fact