Sex educator’s positive message

Young mum Aimee Holme is angry at media criticism of teenage parents, saying that having children at a young age does not “ruin your life”.

The 21 year-old mother of three was awarded National Mum of the Year 2009 by Netmums.com for her voluntary work teaching sex education to teenagers.

“There is so much stereotyping of teen mums and Aimee blasts through all that with her wonderful, positive activism,” said Netmums founder Siobhan Freegard.

“I’m not only a mum and a volunteer, but I’m a full-time college student too,” Aimee said. “It is my aim in life to prove the stereotypes of young parents wrong.”

Aimee’s story

At 17, Aimee gave birth to twins, Lauren and Megan, having consciously made the decision that she wanted a child. She had left school at 16 with eight good GCSEs and went to college to study childcare. It was here that Aimee decided she wanted a baby.

“I had little knowledge of what having a child entailed – the financial, emotional and moral side of it,” she said. “I had the basics of how to look after a child after studying childcare for GCSE, but it wasn’t enough information.”

The twins she was carrying were diagnosed with Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) at 24 weeks, a disease that causes an imbalance in the flow of blood from one twin to another while in the womb.

Due to their condition, Aimee’s twins were on the verge of heart failure and had to be delivered at just 28 weeks. At birth, they were given a 20% chance of survival and the stress caused Aimee to suffer from post-natal depression.

Sex education

When the twins were nine months old, Aimee became pregnant with Sophie, her youngest daughter.
It was during this time that Aimee joined a young parents group. It was here that the link between sex education and becoming a teenage mother made Aimee realise she wanted to make a difference:

“The teen pregnancy rate is high because of the type of sex education received,” she said.

“At the moment I feel there is too much emphasis on how to have sex and linking contraception to preventing STIs [sexually transmitted infections] as opposed to the true meaning of contraception – preventing pregnancy.”

In order to get young people to engage with sex education, the group created activities to make it more memorable.

One is a condom race – where teenagers are given different instruments such as beer goggles, a blindfold and lots of rings and instructed to correctly put a condom on a plastic penis. The aim of the game is to demonstrate the importance of awareness when using contraception and how easily they can be worn incorrectly or damaged by excessive jewellery.

Another game involves a ‘pass the parcel’, but the parcel is a blown up condom. When the music stops, the teenager must rub the condom with baby oil until the music starts again. This will continue until the baby oil causes the condom to pop and demonstrates why baby oil is not a suitable lubricant.

Media stereotypes

Aimee started holding workshops, teaching trainee professional health visitors, midwives, doctors and youth and social workers how to teach sex education more effectively.

The success of these classes lead her to being name a spokesperson for Fable and Fact, a project run by UK Youth which challenges the stereotype of young parents.

“The media stereotypes young mums as lazy, uneducated, irresponsible, stupid little tarts who have children to get houses and benefits,” Aimee said.

She wants the media to report on young parents who achieve goals, rather than focusing on controversial cases such as baby-faced 13-year-old father Alfie Patten.

“To the stereotypes I say don’t judge a book by its cover, don’t tar us all with the same brush and young parents can be good parents too.”

Her own ambitions include graduating from university in 2010 and continuing her crusade for better sex education and a greater emphasis on life skills in school.

Aimee lives with her boyfriend, Rob Parry, 22, an electrician who has been with Aimee for over three years.
He is not the biological father of Aimee’s children but was at the birth of her youngest daughter and has taken on the role after their real father lost contact.

“Our children are definitely well cared for, all it takes is a glance to see it.”

Story by Helen Varley

See also:

Teen pregnancies on the rise

External links:
Netmums
UK Youth Fable and Fact

Teen pregnancy on the rise

By Helen Varley

In the last year there has been a rise in the number of teenage pregnancies, national statistics have shown.

Despite the Government’s plans to reduce numbers by 2010, new data shows that there were 42,918 conceptions in under 18s in 2007 – a rise of more than a thousand on the previous year.

The statistics also show that girls under 16 account for one of every 100 pregnancies in the UK.

Following newspaper coverage of Alfie Patten, the 13 year old ‘baby-faced’ father, the government has started a campaign to teach parents how to talk openly to their children about sex.

Sex education for adults

Talking to Your Teenager About Sex and Relationships will be available in 3,000 pharmacies across England from March 5. The brochure is part of an initiative by the Children’s Minister Beverley Hughes and will offer guidance on how to approach the subject of sex.

Mum of three Sarah Monteith, 35, confesses that when it comes to speaking frankly to her children about sex, she does not know where to begin.

“I am pretty scared about the whole process.” She said on trying to educate her nine year old daughter about sex. “I want her to be fully informed of what is about to happen but children of this age do have a tendency to shut off if information gets too uncomfortable.”

Siobhan Freegard, Netmums founder says: “Teenagers don’t want to listen to ‘fuddy duddy’ tell-you-what-to-do oldies, they will be much more receptive to a young mum who has been where they are and made a success of it.”

Overhaul

Netmums recently made Aimee Holme, 21, National Mum of the Year 2009 for her voluntary work teaching sex education workshops.

Aimee, who gave birth to twins at 17, thinks that sex education is in need of an “overhaul”:

“Young people need life skills. This would include sex - how a child is conceived, contraception in relation to preventing pregnancy as well as STIs, pregnancy and birth, how to care for a baby/child, rights and responsibilities,” she said.

Aimee thinks that Personal Health and Social Education (PHSE) should include teaching about money management, household maintenance and healthy eating.

To read Aimee’s story, click here.

‘Better sex education for youngsters needed’

By Sarah Nicholas

Better sex education lessons are needed to combat teen pregnancies, according to advisory groups.

The recent case of Alfie Patten who became a father at the age of 13 and his admission of not fully understanding sex and the enormity of having a baby at such a young age has led to a big debate about the effectiveness of sex education is in schools.

Parents worry that although children first have sex education at the age of 10-11 in primary schools, the lessons only gloss over the facts.

Sex education in schools does not fully explain the emotional and physical complications that come with having sex, especially as some children are experimenting at a younger age.

Crying

Dennis Pattern, Alfie’s dad told The Sun: ”When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing or the complications that could come.”

The outrage surrounding this case has refuelled the argument that something needs to be done to tackle the teen pregnancy numbers in Britain.

A 10-year-old girl from Dagenham says: “No I didn’t take the sex education class seriously. Me and my friends found it funny. I know we can get pregnant and we can stop it by using a condom.”

Another girl said: “I think she understands the facts but she and her friends are laughing about it which worries me. She understands that children are having kids younger and younger, and she says that so could she but not that she would need a period first.”

The increase of teen pregnancy in Britain has lead organisations to believe that there needs to be an overhaul of how sex education is taught in schools.

The Independent Advisory Group on Teen Pregnancy released a government report suggesting a teen pregnancy strategy, listing prioritisation of sex and relationship education as one of the key factors in reducing teen pregnancy.

It says that a high priority should be given to PSHE (Personal, Social & Health Education) lessons in schools, to develop a comprehensive programme combining sex education as well as relationship education in schools.

Other suggestions have been to teach children sex education at a younger age, with the belief that by approaching children at a younger age with the basics of sex education would cut the high abortion and teen pregnancy rate.

However, that idea was met with hesitation from the public with the fear that by approaching children at such a young age would be robbing them of their innocence.